Bookworm

Blog Your Heart | A Melancholy Week

Everyone is keeping it real this week. Stephanie has invited us all to blog our hearts and post the link in her comments to this post, so here goes:

My heart is heavy this week.  The tenth anniversary of 9/11 hit me harder than I expected it to do and I was caught in a web of sadness and remembrance all day Sunday.  I don't think it was unhealthy to remember and allow myself to feel what I was feeling, but it kind of cast a pall over the beginning of the week.  Last night we received word that my husband's aunt has cancer which has spread and this morning learned that this means she doesn't have long to live -- perhaps three months.  She is 62.  We lost our brother-in-law earlier this year at the age of 59.  

I feel selfish because all of these things make me think of my own mortality and that of others close to me.  How much I want to live to be around for my beautiful daughter for a really long time.  How I can't imagine a world without my Mom or Dad or husband or sisters in it.  How I fear illness and disability and death.  How I dread those things happening to my loved ones.  How hard it is to cling to the promise of Heaven, to have faith in things not seen.  

[My main blog -- updated more regularly than this one -- is here.]

 

Lenten Reading 2

. . . whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." [Link: BibleGateway.com - Passage�Lookup: John 4:10-14;.]

"We tend to think that the more people know and talk about something, the more important it must be.  That's understandable, considering the fact that great notoriety often means big money, and big money often means a large degree of power, and power easily creates the illusion of importance. . . It strikes me again and again that, in our publicity-seeking world, a lot of discussions about God take it as their starting point that even God has to justify himself. . . People often talk as thought God has as great a need for recognition as we do. . . God reveals himself in secrecy. . ." (Henri J.M. Nouwen, pg. 83-84, paperback edition)

That's so true. . . whatever has a big "buzz" does have the illusion of being important.  This passage made me think -- what if people really thought that the top ten searches in 2005 using Google, for example, were truly the top ten most important things?  Here there are:
1. Janet Jackson
2. Hurricane Katrina
3. tsunami
4. xbox 360
5. Brad Pitt
6. Michael Jackson
7. American Idol
8. Britney Spears
9. Angelina Jolie
10. Harry Potter

And, I also thought, wouldn't it be cool if one year "God" or "Jesus" was the top search term?

Before You Know It, You've Done It

"Writing. . .  broods over my domesticities like a reproachful vulture, letting out an occasional squawk so I will know it's still there, still unfinished, still overdue. Well, I want to have a life, I tell it petulantly. . . Odd, this collision of my nesting frenzy and my true love. . .They are both fine things, and a life should have room for more than one fine thing. . . If it were not for my rule of life, I would be pulled apart by my warring loves. If I didn't sit down to pray and then to write, without asking myself whether or not I felt like it, there would be no end to the reasons I'd find not to do either. . . A rule isn't an external curb on your freedom. It's a choice you've made to protect the things you've decided are worth protecting. Nobody makes you follow it, and you don't really make yourself follow it, either. It's just there. And you just do it. And, before you know it, you've done it. [Barbara Cawthorne Crafton: Geranium Farm]

Fathoming Bethlehem, Part One

Passages from the Advent book I'm reading that I liked, that struck a chord, etc.

"The explosion of knowledge and our frenetic activism cause us to forget the essentials of our lives. . . Advent is a season to be fascinated once again by God's gracious love. . . Advent is a seson of love, not logic." (8)

"Advent is a season of attentiveness.  It is also a season of accountability." (12)

"We have failed to be on guard against temptation and sin.  We have refused God's wishes and have lived seasons of our lives in rebellion.  The wind has found our garden empty and barren at times.  We need to recommit ourselves to the seeds of grace that daily are given to us." (13)

A Prayer

"Bless the wounded and those who love them. Bless and strengthen the workers who labor to save them and treat their injuries. Bless the dying and gentle their passing, and speed the welcome of the dead into the divine embrace."  [Read more here: Barbara Cawthorne Crafton]

Lenten Quote

"The spiritual quest is not for interesting "spiritual experiences" but for the expansion of our capacity for mercy, the opening of our hearts wide enough to embrace the world, and not just the fragments of it, here and there, which at present we manage to feel with and care about." (Martin L. Smith, A Season for the Spirit, p. 27)

Advent Season 2

Today's Bible readings pair a prophecy of Isaiah where God provides an abundant feast for all peoples:

On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine-
the best of meats and the finest of wines.
On this mountain he will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;  he will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces. . . [Isaiah 25: 6-8]

with the story in Matthew of Jesus providing food for multitudes.

He told the crowd to sit down on the ground. Then he took the seven loaves and the fish, and when he had given thanks, he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people. They all ate and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.  [Matthew 15: 35-37]

Isaiah prophesied that God would provide and Jesus fulfilled that prophesy.  What do these Scriptures mean to us today?  That if we trust in God, he will provide for us. 

In a contrast to the Bible readings, the reading in the Advent booklet describes how we humans feel fear when we are too vulnerable and dependent on one source for our "essential nourishment".

"This fear may then generate separation and eventually individuality.  It is this process, which is repeated many times through one's life, which makes us distinct and unique." (7)

Call me dense, but I'm not sure why the author would pair this comment on human psychology and development with the above readings. 

 

Advent Season 1

This Advent season I am reading Syllables of the Perfect Word: Advent Reflections 2004 by Rose Marie Berger sent to me by a dear friend. It arrived in my mailbox on Friday or Saturday, but I just sat down with it for the first time last night.  I'm caught up now through today's readings, so I should be on track now.

I really like the Thomas Merton quote in the introduction: "Advent is the beginning of the end of all in us that is not yet Christ."  There is also an Advent prayer, from the Ethiopian Christian liturgy, that I have made a "task" in Outlook at work each noontime; it will be my "grace" that I say with my lunch:

O Eternal God, the beginning and end, you who sustain all things, understand all things, who existed before all things, and who are without end, be with us, remain among us; strengthen our intentions, sanctify our souls and eradicate from us all that is evil.  Enable us to make a good sacrifice and pour out your abundant blessings, and so enable us to enter into the holy of holies wherein dwells your beloved presence.

The section from Sunday's reading that struck me was, "Though we try to stay spiritually awake, we are human.  We fall asleep.  We are lulled into the addictive habits and patterns of the world.  We begin to act and think and live like unbelievers--like those whose vision is not shaped by God."  I haven't been to church much this year.  I was guilty of this in the months before G. was born and I'm more guilty now.  I need to do better.

. . . they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and thei spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore. Isaiah 2:4

Let us then cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.  Romans 13:12

Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect.  Matthew 24:44

Monday's reading instructed us to "pay attention to your response to ambiguity."  The day was over when I read it, but what it made me think of was the conversation I'd had with someone at work, a man of Middle Eastern descent.  We talked of his trip to Acadia National Park in Maine, where I've visited in the past.  He suggested I might like Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island; he did part of his training in Nova Scotia.  I began to inquire if he'd heard of the Anne of Green Gables books and he had; he indicated that people can tour a house that inspired Lucy Maud Montgomery.  I tried to hide my amazement that someone from across the globe, whose first language was not English, someone I thought very different from me in many ways, could converse about these things. 

K., this Isaiah passage for Monday was completely unfamiliar to me!  What are we suppose to glean from it, do you think?  I should probably read more of the surrounding text for clues.

On that day the branch of the LORD shall be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the land shall be the pride and glory of the survivors of Israel. Whoever is left in Zion and remains in Jerusalem will be called holy, everyone who has been recorded for life in Jerusalem, once the Lord has washed away the filth of the daughters of Zion and cleansed the bloodstains of Jerusalem from its midst by a spirit of judgement and by a spirit of burning. Then the LORD will create over the whole site of Mount Zion and over its places of assembly a cloud by day and smoke and the shining of a flaming fire by night. Indeed, over all the glory there will be a canopy. It will serve as a pavilion, a shade by day from the heat, and a refuge and a shelter from the storm and rain.  Isaiah 4:2-6

As regards today's reading, am I alone in thinking that the author is reading between the lines quite a bit by saying that Jesus woos and seduces Simon Peter, Andrew, James, and John to follow him, saying the disciples respond as if they are in love?  Obviously they must be overwhelming affected to leave their lives and families behind, but she seems to be pushing the envelope a bit, to me. 

The same Lord is Lord of all . . . Romans 10:12

Fasting

This is a placeholder entry to be updated later, but I read an article in Weavings this morning about fasting and that led me to one of my favorite reference-type websites -- the Bible Browser -- to look up where the word fasting appears in the Bible. (To view the results of this search: : "fasting"). In a cursory glance only, it appears that, like so many things, the nature of fasting changed after the birth of Christ. In the Old Testament, it appears to have been more of an outward act -- that people should know you were fasting, whereas in the New Testament, in Matthew Chapter 6, verses 17-18, we are told: "But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

The Geranium Farm - Barbara Cawthorne Crafton

"A balance. Between delight and duty. Between immediate gratification and long-term goal. Between rule and surprise. Between prayer and action, love and work. A grown-up balance in living." [Barbara Crafton]

This links so well with what I wrote about in my New Year's entry that I had to quote it. . .