Everyone is keeping it real this week. Stephanie has invited us all to blog our hearts and post the link in her comments to this post, so here goes:
My heart is heavy this week. The tenth anniversary of 9/11 hit me harder than I expected it to do and I was caught in a web of sadness and remembrance all day Sunday. I don't think it was unhealthy to remember and allow myself to feel what I was feeling, but it kind of cast a pall over the beginning of the week. Last night we received word that my husband's aunt has cancer which has spread and this morning learned that this means she doesn't have long to live -- perhaps three months. She is 62. We lost our brother-in-law earlier this year at the age of 59.
I feel selfish because all of these things make me think of my own mortality and that of others close to me. How much I want to live to be around for my beautiful daughter for a really long time. How I can't imagine a world without my Mom or Dad or husband or sisters in it. How I fear illness and disability and death. How I dread those things happening to my loved ones. How hard it is to cling to the promise of Heaven, to have faith in things not seen.
[My main blog -- updated more regularly than this one -- is here.]